This Is It.....It's Time Part 1

My usual Consultant was on holiday so I saw another member of the Team that he works with closely. This made me more anxious than I already was as I had become reliant on the continuity of a Specialist who I had become to trust, literally with my life.

My husband and I where called through. The usual greetings and pleasantries over with I was asked to lie on the consulting table for my usual physical examination. Everywhere was looking OK, but my groin; that was a different matter. The Consultant looked at me and confirmed the growth. We sat down.

My bloods where on the whole stable but my LDH has risen to 712; this was in line with the growth of the lymph node.

An urgent CT scan was arranged with a follow up appointment 1 week later.

2 days later I received a letter confirming an urgent appointment for a CT scan that Friday. For those that have never experienced a CT scan the type I had involved an iodine contrast. After booking in, a member of the X-Ray team explained that I needed to drink an 800ml fluid which contains iodine, over a 45 minute period. You are given a choice of blackcurrant, orange and lemon. None of them are particularly appealing so I reluctantly requested blackcurrant to which the lady sat opposite me then gave her feedback on this delicious drink by advising "the lemon is the best". Too late, but as this is the only flavour I have yet to try, I shall try to remember her advice for my next scan.

Having drank the fluid in 45 minutes as requested I was called in to change into a gown before being taken to a waiting area where I sat with a Radiographer to undertake all the paperwork. After I gave my consent to proceed a cannula was then inserted into my vein and flushed through with saline to ensure it was working. I was given a further moment to compose myself before being taken through to the scanner, and settled on the scanner table as best as I could be.

Once the scanner was set and my cannula was hooked up to the scanner the staff advised they would undertake a further saline flush and no sooner had they finished speaking I felt incredible pain in my arm. My vein had blown. From what I can understand a vein can blow due to too much usage and too big a cannula being fitted. This was no-one's fault and I suspect my vein was throwing a tantrum due to all the piercings it was getting through the various tests. Another Radiographer came through to explain when the vein blows the saline has no-where to go and therefore leaks under the skin, which causes the pain. She then proceeded to massage my arm to help release the saline from my skin and to reduce any probable bruising as a result, whilst the other Radiographer inserted a smaller cannula into my opposite arm which flushed successfully and we where ready to start the scan.

Again if you have never experienced a CT scan with iodine contrast, the iodine is flushed through intravenously as you move in to the scanner. It's a strange sensation where you are warned of as they begin, which I can only describe as a very warm sensation through the arm and body, which also makes you feel like you have pee'd yourself. Of course you haven't, it's just the sensation.

A few deep breaths, hold your breath, and reversed back through the scanner and the scan was complete.

Lenny Awakes

Lenny (my attempt at befriending the enemy by giving 'it' an identity) my Lymphoma appeared to progress towards the end of January. The signs where not B systems (night sweats, fever, 10% loss of body weight over 6 months etc) as you would expect and are advised to keep watch for, no, it was the enlarged lymph node in my groin which seemed to be growing. This was almost a replay of 2009 when my Lymphoma was first discovered.

Over the course of February I monitored the area myself but when it started to become uncomfortable (the sensation I can only describe as the aftermath of getting cramp) and shooting pains down my leg I knew that Lenny really was on the move.

My 3-monthly review was scheduled for the last week in February, just 1 week away, but I decided to make the call and after discussing the situation with a very helpful Clinical Nurse Specialist, who then referred it to one of the Consultants, it was agreed that I would go in early. Between then and that appointment I had my usual blood tests performed.

A whirlwind then ensued.

Has It Really Been 3 Years Since My Last Post?!

I just cannot believe that time has flown by so quickly but you could have assumed that was a good sign as it could mean that my Lymphoma has been stable, and you would be correct in thinking this. As of last December (2009) I achieved 5 years on watch and wait!

An interim scan showed that all was stable yet I continued to be monitored 3-monthly and all has been well.

I shall not lie, at times I have found it hard going, as I have been plagued with various viruses that seem to attack my immunity before the current one has left the scene. Psychologically the concept of watch and wait continued to leave me anxious but as time went on this did get much easier, so if you are on watch and wait, I can offer some assurance that over time this will become easier. A positive outlook really does work wonders but ensure you draw on your support network as and when you need to; you are not expected to be a hero, just focus on being you.